withered lovers

i'd long to fold back
your skin, and slip
right in, to breathe
your air,
and say it was mine.
i'd sew your flesh
to my bones,
freshen up
my dying blood with
some of your own,
my elixir of life,
my shameful parasitic secret.
don't tell
i'll be everything
you ever needed,
supplying your emotions
from rusted tin cans,
emergency supplies.
love can distort and bend
your perceptions.

it's been one day

it's been a long time
to explain away,
a forever
i'd blink away, if it means
you'll come around again.
it's been perfect
you, lovely
it's been hell, sweaty
bleeding imperfection.
and less, less i start
less, finish more.
i don't know myself, the way
i used to
i get better, worse
i don't understand at all.
i'm clouded.
kiss me i'm so confused,
and you'll never get around to
reading this.
you'll languish in that
hot shower, we both with
eyes furtively averted,
scrubbing
making sure we aren't stained...
i hope i haven't ruined you yet.

the worst way

the worst way
to miss someone
is to be sitting right beside them,
knowing
you can't have them.

what i couldn't tell you at the time

listening to sad songs.
hope everything can be helped,
wonder if she wanders
if she knows does she get it?
(does she return does she wonder if i)
don't think
i just walk endless days a countdown
uh do you see me see through these lines
do you wonder if it would work,
do you wonder if i?
all i see is you
you

do you need me?

can you stand
to let me go
at arm's length,
and let me in,
a little closer?
tell them truth.

tell her

i sculpted her words in blood
at times,
wrote the odes to
anyone who would read them...
found out
this means everything.