Monday, July 18, 2005

you i worshipped

i don't know
what to feel anymore
a sense of finality, a peace
that covers the mess
of lies between us
an unfinished conversation, we are
a letter half-written, with
no reply in sight,
the unfinished novel
that moulders on the writer's desk
and i loathe this
i am not okay
with our unfinished state,
i needed an ending
i could understand, an encore
as the applause faded
into the night air
i don't know
it's a past of what-ifs and why-mes
and i cannot detangle the good times
from the times that felt
like dying
the picture blurred and spotted
even in my mind.
her limbs around me,
i cannot even remember this bliss
without also the times she would
not touch me she would not
and she will not
touch me.

Tuesday, July 12, 2005

roles we play

if i just let go
of all of it,
then what
will my identity be
shaped by?
who else will i become?
what else will open
for me,
as the years begin
to unfold?
i am buzzing
the pulse of the energy
i cannot manipulate, only
sense with a fierce longing
and an inquiry,
what are you,
what am i
a part of?