Saturday, May 29, 2004


the way when you turn to face me
you don't know whether to smile
or stare, aloof, away from me
and the emotion plays in the
lines of your face and
you don't understand when i walk away -
when i touch your face and
you duck your head, attempting
to avoid my touch -
these things.
i wish i knew you like i used to
the days i could count on my
and i could have drawn you
from memory alone
with my heart

Sunday, May 23, 2004


he says i'm too intense
for people to deal with,
and i understand
i burn with a ferocity
that scares even me,
the way i'll be high
days after a smoke
the ways i see things
that aren't there, quite.
fucking crazy
like maybe they shouldn't have let
me go
but it doesn't matter.
i am here.
and i scare away
everyone i love
with my intensity.

Monday, May 17, 2004

on purpose

you'd think
that if we were as
goddamned happy as we
claim to be
then we wouldn't
drown ourselves in liquor,
smoke until
our tongues are raw
lie to the hallucinogens
(i am not as fucked up as you think i am)
the uncomfortable stares you get
when they've found out something about you
they didn't want to know
the smile falters
the brusque manner,
the hasty retreat.

Sunday, May 9, 2004

the curse of memory

try as i may
she will not leave.

this latest incarnation
splashes the ceiling in the bathtub,
laughing and comfortable
legs entwined within mine
chaperoned only by the rubber ducky.

i know her legs, the scarred ankles
the way her hands felt in mine
it's not over, but it is

he says i want a girl
but that's not it, precisely
what i want is her
i want to move on
and to stop looking back

Tuesday, May 4, 2004


the glint of blonde made the camera glare
and the otherwise pristine picture was
washed in brilliance
that obscured the details of the faces

she was kissing his cheek
his abashed grin
her peaceful ambrosial bliss, eyes closed
steadying herself on his shoulder
a moment captured, yet obscured