pages i'll abuse

you will settle into me slowly,
though my rough leather edges
will be stiff and creaky
at first
i will slowly warm, and wear
until i am soft enough
to take the brunt of you
the silences you wear
like a bruise
and the marks i get from you
will fade away
there will be nothing left when you go
but the worn volume of me,
its tale battered
from an invisible hand

i'll covet your sleep

i feel so badly in my sleepless
twitch and jerk,
not for me but
for you, since you finally got to bed
and it's not your fault you love
an insomniac.
i squirm and you shift,
pulling the covers closer to your side.
you say i hog the sheets,
but darling
i can't steal them
when i'm still wide awake,
watching you.

music meant for war

even now i have this longing for you
trumping all common sense and
the fact that i know better
more bitter than sweet,
not unlike the sour candy i
consumed in spades
and even though
you said it hurt your mouth,
you ate it anyway

and in such a manner,
i took you into myself
again
and again, giving chances
you didn't deserve, sacrificing
my peace of mind on the altar of passion.
if i gained nothing but the
knowledge that i failed honestly,
at least i never threw up my hands.
i gave all, too much,
i threw myself into the war
the battle of our bodies,
and i am wrung out over you.
there is no solace in it.