Saturday, September 28, 2002


don't tell me not to;
it's like sending me
to a psychiatrist
but instructing me
to remain

Tuesday, September 24, 2002

they may think they belong there

we are always the weakest when
in bed with another
out comes the cute pajamas,
the designer lingerie,
or you act casual,
pretend not to care.
but anyone you invite inside
the covers
has the power to hurt you,
worse than any other possibly could.
those who know the feel of your
sleep-flushed skin
has the power to destroy you
with a glance,
one disparaging look,
a snide remark
any common mutter
can ruin you.

Saturday, September 14, 2002

control, part 3

you hate so strongly
it's almost like an orgasm -
turning my world on end
and rasping away at
my nerve endings
you try to blunt me
erase who i am to
fulfill your mental picture
(i am not the one
you wanted and i
of the devoted girl
who will trail your every move
like a puppy.
you would erase me
if you could,
find some other girl
to place on a pedestal
i know this.
i was not your
perfectly planned princess
veni vidi vici
you came too late
to get rid of my evidence
i'm sure you love me now,
or at least think
you do.
but if there had been a way
to replace me
not a heartbeat would go by
before you would.
do not lie to me.
do not lie to me.
i know.

Tuesday, September 10, 2002

don't worry, really.

apathy invaded by blood, replaced by tears
the pain, blade, sharp dull everlasting ache.
what does your self-help manual have to say?
dirty habit dirty
smells like death
eats me alive
running candy licked off,
cherry red
enough for my pages, my public
my every whim and desire.
go ahead and put the filthy SHIT all over your face.

Tuesday, September 3, 2002

- and oh you smiled -

so hard i thought i would break in half -
a pure joy smile.
stretch your happiness - light up your eyes when i came in the room -
was it all a lie?
waste of time trying to gather my strength?
you have no idea of the letdown -
in the after hours
spent and shaking -
you are/were my heroin.