Saturday, January 9, 2010

i wish i knew who was taking me home

i think i have overstayed my welcome here
at your house
or if not,
that's how it feels
with my shit scattered over
your bedroom floor
your roommates bristling over
the shitty way i treat the dog
that i lock into the kennel at any
opportunity, since
she shits in the house
and i'm the one cleaning it up
since you're immobile.

i'm tired of going without
my shampoo,
my pillow
sick of sleeping on the side of the bed
the dog took a piss on
of pretending to eat more
than i do
it's hard to lie to you
since you actually take notice
of what i do
or do not

hiding with you in the garage,
shivering with shaking hands
welcome to the fall
the season of cold, and
my madness

where i shrink smaller
inside my mind,
which is not the wonderland
it's cracked up to be
i won't pretend i'm someone
other than me,
but i know the concern
that you don't show
when my brain begins to alter
into this season,

and same as any other,
i won't care that you mind
when i bleed
i won't care,
because i won't see
anything or anyone
past myself
in the end,
i never do.

Friday, January 8, 2010

dollars are just dollars

the quality of our surroundings
hangs heavily in the air
spilling drunks into the parking lot
to stumble towards their cars,
memory sated for the evening
smelling of the kind of thick, stale smoke
only old bars can achieve
the scent of an affair
in a cheap motel room
that's never cleaned
in between its lovers
we watch them go,
empty wallets in fist
our wording wending,
into the next set of ears

Thursday, January 7, 2010


look i know i'm fucked up,
feeling closer to you
after fucking someone else

i take my freedom, and
i know you mind
but i appreciate that you let me
on my own time

but when i leave
and roam, i
just get sick
for home,
which is what
you represent to me.
my peaceful center,
but more than peace, you are
a possible future

someone who
i think knows me,
better than you even think
a hard task you seem
to manage gracefully
you don't struggle, push
or even seem to try
it's more like you absorb
the fact of me, and
stand solid against the flow.

i don't know how you do it,
but i'm glad you do.
i'm so glad you're here.