Monday, February 23, 2004

daughters of Jupiter

such is my divinity
but having him as father
has not saved my heart
from a slow death

i can control the world
and create joy in lives
for short intervals
i can caress a cheek
and contain love
in my hands

but it is a useless talent.

no person may be satisfied
with mere moments
a glimpse of the love they long for

i cannot bend or force free will
to sculpt a situation, i cannot
work the wiles of cupid
to stay so permanently

the dawn brings emotions
i cannot change

disbelief has killed my power with cruel hands.

Saturday, February 21, 2004

pathetic

you're like a bad drug
you promise paradise
leave me lying in hell.
and i can't drive away
and leave you standing there
like i should
you parasite
you've invaded everything
i held dear
and i don't understand
i can't burn
or bleed this away
i can't hold this in my hands,
and let it drop
like a leaf
coming to rest
on water.

Wednesday, February 18, 2004

irony must be a writer

even when
i could feel myself
start to shatter
i lay staring at the ceiling
composing a poem to tell you how i felt

instead of simply doing something
about the cause.

Thursday, February 12, 2004

the classroom of her

fingertips twined in your hair
brushed back from your face
to find the eyelashes that
tremble against my cheek in sleep
the mouth that holds mine in its sway
the kiss i lose my mind in,
every time
we play these games
a fingernail caress
hands that shy and turn, yet
hold yours like a saviour

i have never been here before
no familiar paths guide my steps
i stumble blindly
like living in darkness for centuries,
and walking suddenly
into sunlight.

Monday, February 9, 2004

small roses

i look into the past and it hurts less
the sharp ache is gone, replaced by sadness
that, while pervasive, is not overwhelming
simply there in the back of my mind
when i choose to acknowledge its presence.

i have become far more than i ever dreamed.
and i did it
while walking on shards of glass
holding my broken heart
bleeding in my hands, and for this
i have a sense of pride in every small scar.

Sunday, February 8, 2004

the housing of blackmail and love

you can travel time in photographs
(they are an unwilling machine, but no matter)
you can stare at yourself
and imagine
back into the world of the snapshot
and close your eyes (there you are).

Tuesday, February 3, 2004

desire

i wanted to know her
like nothing i could have ever imagined.
i prayed to a god i didn't believe in,
as our knees touched under the covers,
please let her feel the same
as i do.
her lithe body curled against mine
in sleep - i could hardly breathe.
i became even more of an insomniac,
just to watch her dream.
there is nothing else that compared
to the feeling of her small self
pressed against me, in a self-
conscious way,
our hands clasped secretly
in the darkness.