control, part 3

you hate so strongly
it's almost like an orgasm -
turning my world on end
and rasping away at
my nerve endings
you try to blunt me
erase who i am to
fulfill your mental picture
(i am not the one
you wanted and i
NEVER WILL BE)
of the devoted girl
who will trail your every move
like a puppy.
you would erase me
if you could,
find some other girl
to place on a pedestal
i know this.
i was not your
perfectly planned princess
veni vidi vici
you came too late
to get rid of my evidence
i'm sure you love me now,
or at least think
you do.
but if there had been a way
to replace me
not a heartbeat would go by
before you would.
do not lie to me.
do not lie to me.
i know.