you'd think
that if we were as
goddamned happy as we
claim to be
then we wouldn't
drown ourselves in liquor,
smoke until
our tongues are raw
lie to the hallucinogens
(i am not as fucked up as you think i am)
the uncomfortable stares you get
when they've found out something about you
they didn't want to know
the smile falters
the brusque manner,
the hasty retreat.
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