beating off under blanket:
oh god! close the blinds!
special thanks to two of my wonderful friends for inspiration for this haiku.
* also in my senior thesis. this particular poem is a true story - my friend lived next to one of my nonfiction classmates, and one day saw him doing the above activity in his living room - of course he denied it (said he was petting a cat - HA!), so naturally, i shamed him publicly.
also, he deserved it, for being the prick that my entire senior seminar class loathed, universally.