Saturday, November 10, 2007

it all gets mixed up

i want to say it, but
there's no ears to pick it up.
anonymous: i wish
you were here.
i've been
thinking of writing letters to myself,
of indecision
i etch into my memory.
mind-masturbation, a voice
answering my half-assed questions.

i'm too emotional about this,
i keep
thinking i should approach it rationally
but i'm not rational
i'm right out of my head, heart and convictions
while thinking i could just as soon
use the time alone
to talk myself out of what i'm feeling.
it's not real
it's not real
it can't be.
too much to be really happening.

my mind is tired of the racing and
it's no surprise to me,
how much i've been drinking.

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