i wish i knew how to say what
it is i'm feeling,
words only make it so far
before tumbling like dominoes,
leaving fallen soldiers in their wake.
i'm beginning to mistrust words
as they twist and reveal themselves:
not what i meant to say.
you think it means.
even know what i feel anymore,
except an obsessive need to release everything,
and no way i know how.
i want it physical. i want more
than shifty words on a page,
want to be able to touch my rage
and mold it
into a display
i want tangible things
to explode silently i want you
i want you to fucking
see that i cannot write this for you.