lock

i've slowly locked
myself away, through the years
behind layers of armor until
no one is left knocking
on the doors to get through.
tonight
i'm realizing
that no one's through - i
don't know a single person who
is past my bullshit,
my straight-on i-don't-care, not
family or blood
or girls whom with i shared my head
and i'm sick of it

sick of wanting to peel out
waiting for someone
to tap
on the knocker, look, ask
if you can use it
chip a little
at my layers of paint

i
am not invincible, just
put on a good show.
i wish you would know.
look at me,
ask me
what i'm made of, and maybe
this time i won't
throw up my persona,
maybe
i'd put it down,
build
a bridge of it, let you come
picnic at the edge
of it,
really
want to know.
ask me who i am
and maybe,
maybe
i'd tell you
the truth.