Saturday, January 9, 2010

i wish i knew who was taking me home

i think i have overstayed my welcome here
at your house
or if not,
that's how it feels
with my shit scattered over
your bedroom floor
your roommates bristling over
the shitty way i treat the dog
that i lock into the kennel at any
opportunity, since
she shits in the house
and i'm the one cleaning it up
since you're immobile.

i'm tired of going without
my shampoo,
my pillow
sick of sleeping on the side of the bed
the dog took a piss on
of pretending to eat more
than i do
it's hard to lie to you
since you actually take notice
of what i do
or do not

hiding with you in the garage,
shivering with shaking hands
welcome to the fall
the season of cold, and
my madness

where i shrink smaller
inside my mind,
which is not the wonderland
it's cracked up to be
i won't pretend i'm someone
other than me,
but i know the concern
that you don't show
when my brain begins to alter
into this season,

and same as any other,
i won't care that you mind
when i bleed
i won't care,
because i won't see
anything or anyone
past myself
in the end,
i never do.

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