Monday, July 15, 2002

it did hurt

she said....
(i said....)
tell her. it can't hurt.
(yeah but what if you are so wrong? i can't lose this friendship i would die before i would lose that.)
you aren't being true to this you have to say something you can't hide forever what you feel, what you know.
(i will if i have to.)
but it isn't fair to her.
(fuck. it isn't fair to me now, it isn't fair if i tell her and she freaks, it isn't fair if i rock her foundation and she can't deal.)
it's not like she would slit her wrists?
(she might and it would all be my fucked up goddamn fault.)
and you can't live with that.
(no what are you my therapist? fuck no who could?)
i did.
(you're stronger than i am you are so much better you let everyone know you tell all who care to listen. you would tell
her.)
i would, and i would be proud. why are you so ashamed?
(i'm so fucking scared i need her and she doesn't give a shit.)
you don't know that.
(it's inevitable. i love only those i could never be with.)
what about.......?
(you know what i mean.)
no i don't.
(it's okay, no one does.)

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