Wednesday, May 12, 2010

make it neat

anxiety is eating a hole out from
under my ribs.
i take my pulse,
lose count. take pulse; fuckit
it's racing, i don't care.
or do.
i'm not walking straight, i veer
off the walls, towards
the kitchen
fetching tea to wash down xanax
and sit on the couch,
twitching.
i swallow my panic,
beat it back
open the door and shoo at it
like a recalcitrant pet,
shrieking.
panic will not leave, but
remains
curled on my kitchen floor, smirking,
waiting for me to let it through
the cracks between
madness and medication,
the drinks i'll suck down
to dull it all,
the scotch in my glass
settling
into my stomach.

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