the silence of a park at four a.m.

as i pump it high,
my swing creaks bittersweet
like children screaming
or sighing, i can’t tell which.

i look sideways at you.

you sit on your
swing,
scuff your converse
in the dirt, your mouth
a band
of steel,
clamped.

you sit there, fondling
your cigarette and i stare at my shoes
and we are alone.
you flick ash and try to make me choose
between a future with,
or without you.

my mind is a racing,
ticking bomb
counting down.
please,

don't go
having you here is like breathing clear

(for

the first time in years)