i eviscerate what you write
in hopes
of discerning slightly more about you.
we speak in glimpses and our
desolate silences.
we both know why
the other is sad, [or used to].
it's poisonous lately,
our unspoken understandings,
the whispers between the words we do not say.
i want to knock on your skull
to know [really know]
what [if] you are thinking,
if your mind
is as blank as your eyes
have become.
i see you everywhere
on the streets, a flash of blonde
becoming your face, your eyes, until
the spell breaks
and i see a
stranger.
never mind.
put it out of sight.
drink it down.
i'll remember things that mean
nothing to you anymore, or
let them fade into the obscurity
of my mind.
either way.
fight it down.
i keep rationalizing
with myself but it never
seems to change my mind.
i flip through our shared history
in your words, wanting to
remember.
or forget.
or change my mind.
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